She's Winning

I asked Google, of course.  And apparently so have many others.  Interestingly enough there is actually a  whole site  devoted to this question because it is such a big decision for so many parents.  For my husband and I we always knew we would at least have two, no question.  But three kids?  This felt like more of a life-changing decision.  Do we have the energy?  Will starting from scratch hold us back from doing things?  How will this change the dynamic of our family? Since our second son was born, we spent the majority of the time feeling like we were 98% sure that we were done.  Until we weren't....  We had our first two boys close together.  They are only 19 months apart in age.  And during the first two years of having two very little ones, we felt our hands were full and our family was complete.  Additionally I had passed that magical maternal age of 35 possibly adding a few more risks.  With t...

It's been 4 months since I quit my job to be a stay at home mom.  Let me start by telling you that I have not regretted this decision for a second.  My husband and I are both seeing such a positive impact on our children and our household.  It was absolutely the right decision for our family and we both agree that it's hard to imagine me going back to work again anytime soon. With that said, I would be lying if I didn't share the fact that I do miss my career at times.  Being a stay at home mom is a very selfless and often monotonous lifestyle.  I answer "why" at least 100 times a day.  I tell my children to stop fighting more times than I can count.  And I talk about poop and pee more than I ever thought possible only to do it all again the next day.  And beyond the monotony, it can even feel lonely at times because of the lack of adult interaction.  I often think about having coffee in the morning with my co-workers and miss that time ...

  "You got this, Mama!" has become one of the most comforting phrases I hear these days.  I'm fortunate to be surrounded by amazing friends and family.  They are my village and I couldn't survive motherhood without them. I was texting back and forth with one of my dearest friends yesterday about our normal  mommy stuff .  And at the end of our conversation she sent me this: PS - I just want you to know that I think of you as one of my strongest mommy friends. The way you so selflessly put your kids before your career is inspiring. And even though it so hard and the days seem never-ending, you are truly doing an amazing job with those boys. You can see it in their demeanor, they love the time and energy you give. And even though as moms we don't hear it nearly enough, you are making a huge difference in their lives and giving them something that is priceless. I'm grateful that on the hard, most discouraging days we have someone to vent/cry/laugh with in...

I recently  quit my six figure job to become a stay at home mom .  Let me set the record straight that there is no such thing as eating bon bons on the couch and watching soap operas.  Sure, there are quick chocolate breaks while hiding in the pantry but that is purely a means of survival.  This job is hard. I’m quickly learning that in order to be “successful” at this new gig, I’m going to have to learn to be okay with far from perfect days.   This is not as easy as it seems.  When I worked, checking off my to-do list was generally within my control and I could get a lot accomplished in a short period of time.  That felt good.  At home this is MUCH more challenging.  Most days I’m lucky if I get 2 of the 5 items checked off my list.  And setting my expectations too high has only led to an unwarranted feeling of failure.  Because in stay-at-home-mom-land I can only control so much.  My kids don’t always listen, they need a...

Month one flew by so fast!  It’s crazy!  I’m still adjusting to this new lifestyle but I’ve noticed that with each week I’m learning new tricks on how to be a successful stay at home mom.   And let me tell you, this job is not easy.  It’s hard.  It’s rewarding.  It’s exhausting.  It’s fun.  It’s so many things.  I apologize in advance that this post is all over the place.  It’s very representative of my current state of mind. THE GOOD I still feel that I am less stressed than I used to be.   Now I would like to clarify that this is not to say it’s  easier  or that I don’t have struggles.  I will explain my new struggles below.  We’ve gotten busier and busier as the month has gone on but the actual pace still feels much better than my previous pace.  We take longer to do every step now because I am in control of our schedule.   Well kind of in control.  My threenager would argue...

Well, yes, my hair is too.  But I’m not referring to those beauties on the top of my head that my children and entering my mid thirties brought about.  This is my new stance on mommy wars.  I’ve finally come to the conclusion that NOTHING related to being a parent is black and white and so I’m officially joining team gray. In my pre-kid era, I watched from a far.  I heard about a few of the hot mommy topics from other parents and  thought  I knew where I stood despite that fact that I was actually clueless on everything kid related.  I passed judgment on other people’s parenting and their children’s behavior.  “I’ll never…” are the famous last words of the pre-kid era.   Karma’s a bitch.  Now I hear first time pregnant women telling me all of the things they will do perfectly.  And all of the things they  will never do .  Trust me, I was never going to let my child scream in public either or use an iPad to entert...

My Sweet Little Boy, I’m overcome with emotion thinking back to your very dramatic entrance into this world just two short years ago.  You didn’t come according to my plan.  After giving birth to your older brother I thought I knew what to expect.  But you entered the world in your own way.  It was clear then and is still clear today that you will pave your own path. And from your very first breath I knew that all of the things I thought I had learned about being a mom would change with you. Y ou  bring me new joys.   And you bring me new challenges.  You make me a better me every day. Your fearlessness keeps me constantly at the edge of my seat.  But I know you will use it to do extraordinary things with your life.  You will be unstoppable! You play hard but you love even harder.   There has never been a hug as tight as yours.  You hug with every ounce of strength you have.  And someday you will h...

I’m flying!  And I’m wearing a beautiful, sparkling, Elsa dress.  I feel so freeeeeeeee and on top of the wooooorld.  I’m in full control of my flight and, wow, does flying feel AMAAAAAAAZING. Until… wait… who is screaming down below?  Is that Grant? POOF!  And I’m awake.  My two year old is yelling and ready to come out of his crib for the day.  My beautiful dress is gone.  It’s 6:23am.  I have bed head and a t-shirt & shorts that don’t even match.  But today I’m grabbing my glasses off my side table and leaping out of my bed and into his room feeling so refreshed after my awesome dream!   Today is going to be a good day! I hurried down to the kitchen with my little dude to tell my hubby about my flying experience before he left for work.   You have to hear this.  I had a flying dream.  Do you know what this means?!?   He appeased me with a little excitement but I know in these moment...