She's Winning

I was 27 years old when I got married 10 years ago.  My husband and I lived in the city of Chicago...  and then the suburbs.. and then back to the city... and then to Arizona... We were always on to a new adventure searching for fun and excitement.  We were still figuring out who we were and what our life together would look like.  We were both working very hard at corporate jobs trying to prove ourselves in hopes of getting the next promotion.  We loved meeting for happy hours after work, going out on weekend nights and sleeping in late every Sat and Sun.  We moved a lot.  We went on trips.  We made decisions on a whim.  We basically did whatever we wanted.  Our biggest responsibility was our pets.  The plan for our 10 year anniversary was always to go on an African Safari.  It would be the trip of a lifetime full of thrill and adventure.  It would be extraordinary .  And I think at that time in our life we wanted...

I set my alarm for 5am, the alarm I hadn't set in 2 years.  I have 3 kids and as a stay at home mom I could always count on one of them to make sure I was up.  But today I needed to make sure I was awake even before my kids.  I had so many things to do and such little time to get them all done because today was my big day - the day that I would re-enter the workforce... I looked at the checklist for the morning and got to work: clean the floor clean the bathrooms pick up the poop in the backyard shower/get ready cut up fruit for the kids to have with lunch get the kids fed and dressed for the day print out the instructions for the nanny (even though I had sent her the doc days in advance) bring I9 docs for orientation don't forget to eat breakfast don't forget to tell the nanny about how Rocky sometimes gets stuck in the baby room and wakes her up, how the boys can play with the hose in the yard but they forget to turn ...

Though I didn't get the best night of sleep last night, I am feeling quite energized today.  Perhaps it is from all of the coffee I drank.  Or could it be because it's International Women's Day and I've been reading uplifting quotes all morning!  For me, today is not going to be about going to any events or doing anything extravagant.  That's not really where I'm at in my life.  In all honestly, I'm still in my PJs and glasses sitting with my kiddos, my coffee and my laptop.  The view from here is pretty darn good though.  For me today will be about celebrating the women around me and taking a look in the mirror to determine what I can be doing better to demonstrate my own strength for the little girl watching me. This morning I've been thinking about my grandmothers, my mother, my mother-in-law, my sisters, my sister-in-laws, aunts, cousins and girlfriends.  I have truly been surrounded by amazing women that have set wonderfu...

Hard, it’s really really HARD. It’s pulling my hair up, drinking coffee & pushing through sleepless nights. It’s multitasking on steroids & never having enough hands. It’s worrying, worrying & worrying some more…  usually at 2am . It’s valuing my mommy friends & our play dates to keep me sane. It’s saying “no” when it would be so much easier to say “yes”. It’s sand in the carpet, dirt on the tile and dents in the furniture. It’s negotiating bites at meals and minutes left at the play place. It’s slowing down the pace so they can “do it by myself”. It’s getting pooped on, puked on and sneezed on. It’s kissing boo boo’s, scrubbing dirty knees & wiping poopy butts. It’s holding sticky little hands to cross the street. It’s finding time for me.   I’m still more than just Mommy. It’s forgiving myself every day for the many mistakes I make & things I could have done better. It’s reminding myself to be a good role model b...

I asked Google, of course.  And apparently so have many others.  Interestingly enough there is actually a  whole site  devoted to this question because it is such a big decision for so many parents.  For my husband and I we always knew we would at least have two, no question.  But three kids?  This felt like more of a life-changing decision.  Do we have the energy?  Will starting from scratch hold us back from doing things?  How will this change the dynamic of our family? Since our second son was born, we spent the majority of the time feeling like we were 98% sure that we were done.  Until we weren't....  We had our first two boys close together.  They are only 19 months apart in age.  And during the first two years of having two very little ones, we felt our hands were full and our family was complete.  Additionally I had passed that magical maternal age of 35 possibly adding a few more risks.  With t...

  "You got this, Mama!" has become one of the most comforting phrases I hear these days.  I'm fortunate to be surrounded by amazing friends and family.  They are my village and I couldn't survive motherhood without them. I was texting back and forth with one of my dearest friends yesterday about our normal  mommy stuff .  And at the end of our conversation she sent me this: PS - I just want you to know that I think of you as one of my strongest mommy friends. The way you so selflessly put your kids before your career is inspiring. And even though it so hard and the days seem never-ending, you are truly doing an amazing job with those boys. You can see it in their demeanor, they love the time and energy you give. And even though as moms we don't hear it nearly enough, you are making a huge difference in their lives and giving them something that is priceless. I'm grateful that on the hard, most discouraging days we have someone to vent/cry/laugh with in...

Well, yes, my hair is too.  But I’m not referring to those beauties on the top of my head that my children and entering my mid thirties brought about.  This is my new stance on mommy wars.  I’ve finally come to the conclusion that NOTHING related to being a parent is black and white and so I’m officially joining team gray. In my pre-kid era, I watched from a far.  I heard about a few of the hot mommy topics from other parents and  thought  I knew where I stood despite that fact that I was actually clueless on everything kid related.  I passed judgment on other people’s parenting and their children’s behavior.  “I’ll never…” are the famous last words of the pre-kid era.   Karma’s a bitch.  Now I hear first time pregnant women telling me all of the things they will do perfectly.  And all of the things they  will never do .  Trust me, I was never going to let my child scream in public either or use an iPad to entert...

My Sweet Little Boy, I’m overcome with emotion thinking back to your very dramatic entrance into this world just two short years ago.  You didn’t come according to my plan.  After giving birth to your older brother I thought I knew what to expect.  But you entered the world in your own way.  It was clear then and is still clear today that you will pave your own path. And from your very first breath I knew that all of the things I thought I had learned about being a mom would change with you. Y ou  bring me new joys.   And you bring me new challenges.  You make me a better me every day. Your fearlessness keeps me constantly at the edge of my seat.  But I know you will use it to do extraordinary things with your life.  You will be unstoppable! You play hard but you love even harder.   There has never been a hug as tight as yours.  You hug with every ounce of strength you have.  And someday you will h...

When you first become a parent, every single outing is a HUGE deal.  You have to pack your diaper bag with diapers, bottles, wipes, back-up clothes, back-up clothes for the back up clothes and EVERY POSSIBLE ITEM there’s even the slightest chance you will need. Just in case the world ends while you go out for pizza, you have canned goods in your bag.  When you are out in public and the baby cries, you completely stress out.  Not only because you are new to parenting and crying still freaks you out, but you are also worried about what everyone around you thinks.   They are all looking at me!  What if they know that I don’t know what I’m doing?   I hate to break it to the new parents but it’s kind of a well-known fact that parenting doesn’t come with a handbook.  Everyone DOES know that you don’t know what you are doing.  And it’s okay!  You will learn to stop caring, trust me. Flash forward a few years.  You hav...